Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I can feel a change

I don't desire being on my mountain bike as much anymore, this feeling started last year and hence the purchase of our dirt bikes. I made the sacrifice of selling mine for our house purchase but I know I'll get another one. I think Dan already has a bigger better bike in mind for me.

It's a weird feeling and I feel guilty a lot for the desire not being there. I love getting out on the weekends for a ride with friends but I don't feel the need to get out everyday to ride. I found other things I really enjoy like running and I've been enjoying hitting the pavement for a road ride and I'm really looking forward to a winter full of snowboarding.

I don't know what has happened, I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I've got a kickbutt new bike that I love to ride and I've got awesome friends to ride with. But I just don't desire to get out and ride EVERYDAY like I used to.

I'm getting more comfortable with slowing down, I don't feel like I've always got to be in motion or exercising as hard as I can anymore. I think the move up high is going to give me a new focus in life. I'll have a house to love and take of and I'll have the peace and quiet to let my body and desire and feelings lead me the way instead of the desire to be the fittest person I can be. Believe me, I still want to be fit but I want to be healthy inside more and I desire to be mentally healthy...just happy being and doing what my body tells me to do rather than what my schedule and routine tells me to do.

I guess I'm just feeling more comfortable in my own skin and I'm comfortable just doing what I want to do, whether it's being on my bike or taking a long hike or just sitting and reading. I don't feel I have to keep up with what everyone else is doing anymore....

-Kim

5 comments:

June said...

Good for you Kim, that is a very healthy outlook. I know that Steve and I have been feeling the same way. Not too long ago, he said "riding isn't everything there is to life" and it really stuck with me.

Carey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carey said...

Ebb and flow..Physical fitness and health comes and goes, as we get older hopefully we'll stay healthy but what I have found in my life and a lesson that I had to learn deeply was that mental well being, peace of mind and soul is way more key and important in this life than physical well being, don't get me wrong, physical well being is important but knowing who you are and what makes you happy, being at peace with our minds will carry you through your life no matter your circumstances. No matter what that journey looks like..always be who you are and do you're own thing!! Cheers to you my friend!

brg said...

that's the way i felt when I first gave up pool. I felt guilty for drifting away. After a 8 year hiatus it was nice to pick it up again and tho i love it - it's not the *everything* it used to be to me.

glad you are feeling more at peace with everything. :)

Kim said...

I just need to realize that riding will always be there for me and just because I don't do it every single day of my life like I used to doesn't make me a loser :) I should be happy that I have other things in my life that make me just as happy!!